An Ode To...

A rolling thunder
Held deep inside
A dam bursting
The river spills forth
Emotions are high
Tension is thick
Tears mix with blood
Skies clear again
Damage is repaired
Life goes on

Madness Alone

Somewhere in darkness
a little girl cries
alone she is frightened
there's no one in sight
her tears come so easy
falling like rain
alone she sits silent
no one knows her pain
time keeps on ticking
the weeks turn to years
all that's been held inside
will not disappear

Alone in the darkness
a young woman cries
hollowed by violence
disheartened by lies
alone she sits silent
no one knows her pain
it eats at her slowly
it drives her insane
time keeps on ticking
the weeks turn to years
all that's been held inside
will not disappear

Alone in the darkness
she no longer cries
the pain has consumed her
it's turned to despise
alone in her madness
she picks up a knife
she ends all her pain
by ending her life.

A Letter to Her Lovers

Throughout my life I've been searching
for a prince, a knight, a hero
And when I thought I'd found him
you showed me I had zero
The words you said were sweet
to mask that bitter taste
Despite the gifts and promises
my time I let you waste
There was nothing more than sex
I was a vessel for your release
Because of you and the pain you caused
I'm searching for some peace
No matter who I turn to
it all comes out the same
The sweetest guys are the biggest assholes
and my life is just a game
With each of you I was betrayed
with some I did it first
Every time I try again
my lack of trust gets worse
I know not the meaning of love
I've only known lies and lust
And thanks to your deception
my heart has turned to dust
All I wanted was some happiness
but now I want you to suffer
So thanks for making me the way I am
and condemning my future lovers!

Liquid Love

Tip that bottle up again
Feel the burn, take it all in
Swallow it down, just like your pride
Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide
You drank it all, to the very last drop
But you kept on going, didn't know when to stop
Life's like Tequila, you're left with a worm
Grab another bottle, maybe someday you'll learn
But for the time being the bottle's your friend
And when it's used up, a new one steps in
Things seem much better through beer-goggled vision
When the brand of your liquor is your biggest decision
You don't seem to realize just what you're doing
Or how many lives you'll someday be ruining
Maybe you haven't done anything yet
But when you do, it'll be hard to forget
You'll make a mistake but won't hear the blame
You'll come out on top, but it won't be the same
Instead of a jury, you'll be facing your maker
As those down below ask, "Why did He take her?"
You said you'd be fine, you ended up dead
Thought you'd see Heaven, sent to Hell instead
See, you weren't alone when you left this world
You killed a small child, a sweet little girl
An innocent victim, now an angel above
All because of you and your liquid love

Me

I don't want to be
what you want me to be.
I don't want to be
somebody else.
I just want to be me.
I just want to be happy
and know that I'm alright.
I just want to be me
whoever that may be.

I Want

I want to feel your body
Pressed firmy next to mine.
I want to taste your kisses,
Feel your tongue inside my mouth.
I want to quiver at your touch,
As your hands caress my thighs.
I want to take my time
When making love to you.
I want to feel your every move,
Deliberate and smooth.
I want to feel you reach your peak
And linger there inside.
I want that time of ecstacy
To last more than a moment.
I want that time of passion
To be more than release.
I want each minute spent with you
To be a time when I feel loved.

Falling In Love

I love the things you do to me
The way you make me feel
I love the things you say
My dreams are turning real
You tell me to have faith
In you I can believe
You want to show me love
You aren't out to deceive
I'm giving you a chance
I'm giving you my heart
I'm giving you my trust
Please don't tear it all apart
We are only human
And have so much to learn
I want you to teach me
All of which I yearn
I want you to be the one
With whom I share my years
I want you to be the one
To kiss away my fears
You are everything I want
And what I say is true
Our time has just begun
I'm falling in love with you

Water Under the Bridge

It's all water under the bridge-
What we had,
What we shared,
Everything said,
Everything done...

The moments passed-
Flowed into each other,
Minutes into days,
Weeks into months,
Time ticking to our end...

Nothing lasts forever-
Anger will fade,
Joy will emerge,
Forgiveness given,
It's all water under the bridge.

Mistakes

Mistakes are made,
Lives are changed,
Everything will be fine.

The Life I've Lived

From childhood innocence,
To the woman I've become...
So many mistakes,
So much I wish I'd never done.
So many nights I've cried
As I lay awake in bed,
So many times I've lied
About wishing I were dead.
I have nothing to be proud of,
My past is full of shame...
For everything I've been through,
Alone I take the blame.
I don't know how to trust,
Or who I should believe...
And when I try to open up,
Those I care for always leave.
I build a wall around my heart...
Afraid to really feel,
Because eventually it falls apart,
And the pain is much too real.
But somehow the wall gets broken down
And I let somebody in...
And then my dreams are shattered
And I live my past again.
All I want is to be loved,
And to give love in return,
To break my painful cycle,
And accept those lessons learned.

You Don't

You don't see the tears when I cry myself to sleep.
You can't taste the saline when alone I start to weep.
You don't know the pain of all I keep inside.
You can't see the child hidden beneath the pride.
You don't hear me screaming when my fear's too much to bear.
You don't know the truth because you are never there.

See in Me

Watching you sitting there
my tears begin to fall
knowing I will never be
all that you want to see in me.

Seeing you so oblivious
pangs me even more
knowing I will never be
all that you can't see in me.

I can no longer watch you
feeling all this pain right now
knowing I will always be
all that you won't see in me.

You and Me

I try to stand
And you push me down,
Keep me under your thumb.
I've had enough!
I'm not a child,
Nor blind, deaf, or dumb!
You think you have it all,
All of the control.
You take away my fun!
I've had enough!
Just keep it up,
And soon you'll see me run.

Oh, How

Oh, how the tone changes
From one child to the next.
Oh, how your behavior leaves me
Crying and perplexed.
Oh, how I see your feelings,
The ones you try to hide.
Oh, how I see a truth
In your selfishness and pride.
Oh, how your plan is failing,
You're quickly losing grip.
Oh, how the clock is ticking,
I'll soon leave on my trip.
Oh, how I'm waiting patiently
Until that fateful day!
Oh, how I'm not gonna cry
When freedom comes my way!

Remembrance of Our Life Together

Manipulations and lies-
the truths you tried to hide,
Invisible chains to bind me-
another notch of failure,
Alcohol and pills-
your suicidal thrill
and my leash of fear,
The destruction of trust-
Was there ever really love?
What once was there
could never be again-
The bridges have been burned

Someday

Such is the hope of mine that someday
things will be different,
knowing they cannot change
without my first putting one foot in front of the other
and taking those baby steps in the right direction.
The path that seems the most treacherous
is always the path that gets you the furthest ahead.
Hope is nothing without action,
change never occurrs with the thought alone.
Hope and courage will always give birth to action and change.

Death's Dance

Death dances with every soul-
At a time when soft music plays
Ballroom lights grow dim-
In a bed His partner lays

Gliding silently across the floor-
Death slows the beat-
For His partner dancing
Upon unmoving feet

As the music slows-
Death dances on-
Looking for another soul
To dance with at Dawn.

The Collector

Their faces blurred, so many names
Their hearts are hers, trust she gains
She walks alone, a gentle soul
They say she's sweet, but not quite whole
They come to her like a flock of sheep
She'll use them up and then she'll sleep
She draws them in with silent words
They follow her in droves and herds

Understand

You say you understand, you really want to help.
You try to sell your plan, make it sound so easy.
I'm your only focus, you're just trying to please me.

You far from understand, and you're really no help.
I'm not buying your plan, it's really not so easy.
I'm just another number, you're just trying to deceive me.

Bind Me Not

Bind me not by Heaven's true light.
Bind me not by morbid sin.
Bind me not by emotional bliss,
For this is not the world in which I live.