An Ode To...

A rolling thunder
Held deep inside
A dam bursting
The river spills forth
Emotions are high
Tension is thick
Tears mix with blood
Skies clear again
Damage is repaired
Life goes on

Madness Alone

Somewhere in darkness
a little girl cries
alone she is frightened
there's no one in sight
her tears come so easy
falling like rain
alone she sits silent
no one knows her pain
time keeps on ticking
the weeks turn to years
all that's been held inside
will not disappear

Alone in the darkness
a young woman cries
hollowed by violence
disheartened by lies
alone she sits silent
no one knows her pain
it eats at her slowly
it drives her insane
time keeps on ticking
the weeks turn to years
all that's been held inside
will not disappear

Alone in the darkness
she no longer cries
the pain has consumed her
it's turned to despise
alone in her madness
she picks up a knife
she ends all her pain
by ending her life.

A Letter to Her Lovers

Throughout my life I've been searching
for a prince, a knight, a hero
And when I thought I'd found him
you showed me I had zero
The words you said were sweet
to mask that bitter taste
Despite the gifts and promises
my time I let you waste
There was nothing more than sex
I was a vessel for your release
Because of you and the pain you caused
I'm searching for some peace
No matter who I turn to
it all comes out the same
The sweetest guys are the biggest assholes
and my life is just a game
With each of you I was betrayed
with some I did it first
Every time I try again
my lack of trust gets worse
I know not the meaning of love
I've only known lies and lust
And thanks to your deception
my heart has turned to dust
All I wanted was some happiness
but now I want you to suffer
So thanks for making me the way I am
and condemning my future lovers!

Liquid Love

Tip that bottle up again
Feel the burn, take it all in
Swallow it down, just like your pride
Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide
You drank it all, to the very last drop
But you kept on going, didn't know when to stop
Life's like Tequila, you're left with a worm
Grab another bottle, maybe someday you'll learn
But for the time being the bottle's your friend
And when it's used up, a new one steps in
Things seem much better through beer-goggled vision
When the brand of your liquor is your biggest decision
You don't seem to realize just what you're doing
Or how many lives you'll someday be ruining
Maybe you haven't done anything yet
But when you do, it'll be hard to forget
You'll make a mistake but won't hear the blame
You'll come out on top, but it won't be the same
Instead of a jury, you'll be facing your maker
As those down below ask, "Why did He take her?"
You said you'd be fine, you ended up dead
Thought you'd see Heaven, sent to Hell instead
See, you weren't alone when you left this world
You killed a small child, a sweet little girl
An innocent victim, now an angel above
All because of you and your liquid love

Me

I don't want to be
what you want me to be.
I don't want to be
somebody else.
I just want to be me.
I just want to be happy
and know that I'm alright.
I just want to be me
whoever that may be.

I Want

I want to feel your body
Pressed firmy next to mine.
I want to taste your kisses,
Feel your tongue inside my mouth.
I want to quiver at your touch,
As your hands caress my thighs.
I want to take my time
When making love to you.
I want to feel your every move,
Deliberate and smooth.
I want to feel you reach your peak
And linger there inside.
I want that time of ecstacy
To last more than a moment.
I want that time of passion
To be more than release.
I want each minute spent with you
To be a time when I feel loved.

Falling In Love

I love the things you do to me
The way you make me feel
I love the things you say
My dreams are turning real
You tell me to have faith
In you I can believe
You want to show me love
You aren't out to deceive
I'm giving you a chance
I'm giving you my heart
I'm giving you my trust
Please don't tear it all apart
We are only human
And have so much to learn
I want you to teach me
All of which I yearn
I want you to be the one
With whom I share my years
I want you to be the one
To kiss away my fears
You are everything I want
And what I say is true
Our time has just begun
I'm falling in love with you

Water Under the Bridge

It's all water under the bridge-
What we had,
What we shared,
Everything said,
Everything done...

The moments passed-
Flowed into each other,
Minutes into days,
Weeks into months,
Time ticking to our end...

Nothing lasts forever-
Anger will fade,
Joy will emerge,
Forgiveness given,
It's all water under the bridge.

Mistakes

Mistakes are made,
Lives are changed,
Everything will be fine.

The Life I've Lived

From childhood innocence,
To the woman I've become...
So many mistakes,
So much I wish I'd never done.
So many nights I've cried
As I lay awake in bed,
So many times I've lied
About wishing I were dead.
I have nothing to be proud of,
My past is full of shame...
For everything I've been through,
Alone I take the blame.
I don't know how to trust,
Or who I should believe...
And when I try to open up,
Those I care for always leave.
I build a wall around my heart...
Afraid to really feel,
Because eventually it falls apart,
And the pain is much too real.
But somehow the wall gets broken down
And I let somebody in...
And then my dreams are shattered
And I live my past again.
All I want is to be loved,
And to give love in return,
To break my painful cycle,
And accept those lessons learned.

You Don't

You don't see the tears when I cry myself to sleep.
You can't taste the saline when alone I start to weep.
You don't know the pain of all I keep inside.
You can't see the child hidden beneath the pride.
You don't hear me screaming when my fear's too much to bear.
You don't know the truth because you are never there.

See in Me

Watching you sitting there
my tears begin to fall
knowing I will never be
all that you want to see in me.

Seeing you so oblivious
pangs me even more
knowing I will never be
all that you can't see in me.

I can no longer watch you
feeling all this pain right now
knowing I will always be
all that you won't see in me.

You and Me

I try to stand
And you push me down,
Keep me under your thumb.
I've had enough!
I'm not a child,
Nor blind, deaf, or dumb!
You think you have it all,
All of the control.
You take away my fun!
I've had enough!
Just keep it up,
And soon you'll see me run.

Oh, How

Oh, how the tone changes
From one child to the next.
Oh, how your behavior leaves me
Crying and perplexed.
Oh, how I see your feelings,
The ones you try to hide.
Oh, how I see a truth
In your selfishness and pride.
Oh, how your plan is failing,
You're quickly losing grip.
Oh, how the clock is ticking,
I'll soon leave on my trip.
Oh, how I'm waiting patiently
Until that fateful day!
Oh, how I'm not gonna cry
When freedom comes my way!

Remembrance of Our Life Together

Manipulations and lies-
the truths you tried to hide,
Invisible chains to bind me-
another notch of failure,
Alcohol and pills-
your suicidal thrill
and my leash of fear,
The destruction of trust-
Was there ever really love?
What once was there
could never be again-
The bridges have been burned

Someday

Such is the hope of mine that someday
things will be different,
knowing they cannot change
without my first putting one foot in front of the other
and taking those baby steps in the right direction.
The path that seems the most treacherous
is always the path that gets you the furthest ahead.
Hope is nothing without action,
change never occurrs with the thought alone.
Hope and courage will always give birth to action and change.

Death's Dance

Death dances with every soul-
At a time when soft music plays
Ballroom lights grow dim-
In a bed His partner lays

Gliding silently across the floor-
Death slows the beat-
For His partner dancing
Upon unmoving feet

As the music slows-
Death dances on-
Looking for another soul
To dance with at Dawn.

The Collector

Their faces blurred, so many names
Their hearts are hers, trust she gains
She walks alone, a gentle soul
They say she's sweet, but not quite whole
They come to her like a flock of sheep
She'll use them up and then she'll sleep
She draws them in with silent words
They follow her in droves and herds

Understand

You say you understand, you really want to help.
You try to sell your plan, make it sound so easy.
I'm your only focus, you're just trying to please me.

You far from understand, and you're really no help.
I'm not buying your plan, it's really not so easy.
I'm just another number, you're just trying to deceive me.

Bind Me Not

Bind me not by Heaven's true light.
Bind me not by morbid sin.
Bind me not by emotional bliss,
For this is not the world in which I live.

Let the Blood Flow

Let the blood flow from the veins
As the lies flowed from your lips...
Let the memories be erased
Of the swiveling of our hips...
Let the pain be washed away
With the water turning red...
Let my heartache cease to be
When at last I'm finally dead...

Would You Ever Really Know?

Can you feel me creeping in…
When you think you’re all alone?
With your heart so guarded,
Would you ever really know?
Could you ever really know
What you mean to me now?
Would you turn away, run away…
Would you, could you feel the same way?
If I could prove my words were true,
Would it mean anything at all to you?
Could you ever feel the way I feel inside,
Or would you turn away, run away and hide?
Can you feel me creeping in…
When you think you’re all alone?
With your heart so guarded,
Would you ever really know?

Puppet

I am just a puppet,
a figure held by strings.
You control my movements,
I've no thoughts of my own.
Pull my strings and watch me dance,
a private dance just for you.
My puppeteer, my master,
a lover but not my friend.
You'll play with me until boredom sets in.
And what of me then?
You'll set me aside, dangling,
and hanging by those strings.
Yes, I am just a puppet,
with no master I am lost.
With no one to pull my strings
I shall not ever dance.
I am just a puppet.

Mourning Will Come Again

Through all the time we've shared
and all the time we've cared,
we've lost sight of who we were...
Slipped through the fingers
and into the cracks...
Our lives will be forgotten.
Memory serves no purpose
but to remind us of what was,
and time will take it all away...
The pain will somehow fade away
and mourning will come again.

Two Hearts For One

Two hearts for one,
Now she must choose.
Both she loves,
But one must lose.
The vicious cycle came around,
Another love is what she found.
Her heart is torn between love and desire...
How can two guys fuel that fire?
A decision must soon be made,
The price of love must be paid.

Idiots

Surrounding,
Multiplying,
Intelligence dying-
Everywhere I go...
Idiots

All You Knew Was My Name

So much was said,
Little was done-
Was it all a game?
Was it just for fun?
Lies filled my head,
But you haven't won-
All you knew was my name,
And with that I'm done.

Thoughts

Thoughts…
Simple little thoughts,
Something rendered
From the mind
And materialized
Into personal view…
Little thoughts daily…
Thoughts of us,
You and I together…
Thoughts of happiness,
Things to come…
Simple thoughts
So close to reality
And yet… only…
Thoughts…

Being Sick

Up, down, up, down…
My world is spinning all around.
Now I’m hot, Now I’m cold…
All this suffering is getting old!
Sneezing here, Coughing there…
Can anyone tell me how this is fair?
What did I do to deserve such pain?
Oh, here comes the nausea again…
I have no strength, my energy’s gone
And I feel as though I can’t go on…
But somehow I’ll manage to make it through,
With lots of rest and thoughts of you…

Fear

Fear is what I feel whenever he’s around.
The words he says always bring me down.
His hands with an incredible vice-like grip…
Reaching, grabbing, trying to rip…
He’s unpredictable, emotions so wild,
One minute he’s yelling, and the next he smiles.

Fear is what I feel when I hear him come home.
Things were much safer when I was alone…
Nothing was thrown, nothing got broke,
And I didn’t have to censor the words that I spoke.
He says that he loves me, he claims it’s true,
But how is it love, what he puts me through?

Fear is what I feel with him every day.
Not knowing what to do, not knowing what to say,
Not knowing what something could set him off next…
Who would have thought he was so complex?
He’ll hurt me so bad and I’ll still forgive,
Knowing in fear is no way to live…

When I Breathe

Open me up and
Watch me bleed,
Upon my misery
You shall feed.
Drink my tears,
They come with ease,
It only hurts
When I breathe.

Trust

Trust in me,
I trust in you.
Similarities
of what we've been through.
A bond unbroken.
No lies from lips,
No judgment heard.
Truth and sacrifice,
Our claim to fame.
A part of the other
Together in trust.

What Might Have Been

Do you think of me
When you're with her?
Wondering what might have been
If things were different...
Are you really happy?
Is she everything you need?
Nothing easy
Is ever worth holding onto,
And I am not easy...
But still no one can hold me.
Would you have succeeded
Where so many have failed?
Could you have been the one?
You made a choice,
And maybe now we'll never know...

Don't Want to Think

I don't want to think about
the things you've already done.
I don't want to think about
the things you'll do with her.
I don't want to think about
the past or what we have become.
I don't want to think about
anything concerning you.

Sometimes

Sometimes I sit
and I think about
the past...
All the time I've spent
on the things
that never last.
Sometimes I sit
and I think about
my life...
All the emotions I feel
during times
filled with strife.
Sometimes I sit
and I don't think
at all...
Because when you sit
and think,
it's easier to fall.

Inner Lies

Listen to those inner lies,
the ones that assure you
everything is fine
as he slips between your thighs.
Listen to those inner lies,
the ones that remind you
it was always him,
he's the one you despise.
Listen to those inner lies,
the ones that haunt you
because you know
they are only lies.

Love in a Bottle

Loyalty.
You'll never let me down,
Always there when I need you.
Courage.
I can tell you anything,
I can tell the world my thoughts.
Strength.
With you I am invincible,
No one can take me down.
Beauty.
The world looks better through your eyes,
From a 0 to a 10.
Illusion.
Love comes in a bottle,
Drink the truth away.

Beauty

Beautiful on the inside,
Moreso than the outside,
But you are blind, foolish
And you hide behind your pride.

Open your eyes and see
There's no beauty in Society,
Only sexual appeal that sells
Products to you and me.

Real beauty lies within,
We don't have to be thin,
We just have to be ourselves
And let this truth set in.

Feel Like Crying

Do you ever feel like crying
When you know there’s nothing wrong?
Or perhaps it’s more like something
That you’re trying to overcome…
Something that exists within
Deep down where no one sees,
Something of the pain and sorrow
That brings you to your knees?
Do you ever feel like crying
When things go another way,
When nothing’s going right
And no one listens to what you say?
Do you ever feel like crying
Just letting it all come out?
Releasing all the pain inside,
The tears of darkest doubt…
Do you ever feel like crying
Just let it wash away…
Drown yourself in the tears you weep
And forget about today…

Web

Caught in a web of confusion
The spider of doubt awakes
Trapped in my own illusions
With fear my body shakes
My plans have come unravelled
This cannot be undone
I took the road more travelled
Unhappy is what I've become

Society

Society tells us who to be
It censors everything we see
Ask no questions, know your role
This is the Land of the Free.

Shed a Tear

Shed a tear
Just let it out
never tell a soul
Face the fear
Release the doubt
Then fall back in your role

Life to Death

We know everything,
We know nothing,
So walk before you crawl.
Will you soar
When your time comes,
Or will the angels
Watch you fall?

They Only Love You When You're Gone

They only love you when you're gone,
When your time has slipped away.
Your shoulders were never cried on
But for you their tears are shed.
They respect you in your passing
But never when you're alive.
They'll rummage through your belongings
Claiming what is theirs.
They only love you when you're gone,
When objects of your life
Is all they have to take.

Time

Time is immeasurable, no bottle can hold
Something so precious, worth more than gold.
People don't realize just what Time's worth,
They take it for granted, until a death or birth.
We see each day as hours and minutes,
Scheduling our lives and setting our limits.
We rush through each day, Life with no meaning,
Attention unpaid to details and seeming
To go as a blur, to end suddenly,
But without Time, where would we be?

Jason

Broken promises and lies
Are the things that I despise
Words with hidden meaning
My naiveté had you beaming
You were blinded by your vices
(Simmering in life’s spices)
Then I looked beyond my view
Through my tarot into you
And I saw what you could not
Saw the life you somehow got
(And this isn’t worth the price)
You’re just rolling loaded dice
You came to me in need
I fed your selfishness and greed
I fell for all your lies
Became victim to what I despise
(It was a slap upon my face)
Now my trust has been replaced
With anger and some tears
The realization of my fears
(Which weren’t really fears at all)
I’m surprised you had the gall
I should have seen it coming
Turned my back and started running
But something in you made me stay
And now the price I have to pay
But it’s not MY life that must be given
It’s the one you’re currently living…
For me it’s not too late
But self-destruction is your fate.

Smoke Cloud

An invisible cloud
enveloping our surroundings
penetrating every existence
undetected or simply unnoticed
but present nonetheless
it seeps into me, into you
leaving an odor...sickening
cough, gag, swallow
silently curse the cause
knowing there is a solution
or perhaps a few
would a civil war ensue?
is the price worth it all?
the cloud dissipates
but will return again
how long before its end?

Together

She's got dark brown hair
and deep blue eyes
that turn to gray
when she starts to cry...
But it won't last long
he'll soon appear
and kiss away
her salty tears...
He makes her laugh
and soon forget
all the awful things
she could regret...
He feels for her
what she feels for him
together as one
a new life begins...

Toddlers

So energetic, running around
Screaming, laughing until one goes down
Crocodile tears, attention wanted
When trouble ensues, innocence is flaunted
Toddlers are smarter than given credit
They learn what they see and don't forget it
Teach them well and they'll be fine
Those toddlers will grow up in no time

Thoughts on You

You said that you would be there
You wouldn't let me down
But I found myself there waiting
You weren't anywhere around
This hasn't been the first time
It may not be the last
When you don't do what you say
It reminds me of my past
It's not that I don't trust you
Or think that you would lie
I just don't like this feeling
Or that I'm wondering why
I still don't really know you
But I hope I someday will
I just wish you would be there
And be honest with how you feel

Wondering

Sometimes I have to wonder
How much you really care
What words you say really mean
During times when you aren't there
I want to be so close to you
But it seems you push me away
Maybe the past still haunts me
Leaks into present day
Maybe I see what isn't there
Deny the truths you give
Afraid to someday love you
Afraid to really live

Invisible Thought

I am just a name on a screen,
A voice on the phone,
A thought in your head
When you're all alone...
But do I exist?
Could I ever be?
Feeling invisible,
You just don't see...
If you knew the truth
Would you even care?
If you opened your eyes
Would you see me there?
A name on a screen
that types these words,
A voice on the phone
When you need to be heard,
A thought in your head
When you're all alone...
Just a thought in your head
and nothing more...

Ignorance Unnoticed

Time seems to slip away,
The moments pass us by...
So much taken for granted,
So much based on lies...
There is always an opinion,
A thought that can be shared...
But are we simply speaking,
Or do we really care?
Surround ourselves with people
Pretend they are our friends,
Do we really notice
When time with them just ends?
So much is forgotten,
Do we ever wonder why?
Do we ever stop to think
Just who we've caused to cry?
We influence so many,
Our effect on them is great,
But will we ever notice,
Before it's much too late?

I'm the One

I'm the one you never thought of
As more than just a friend,
But I'm the one who'll be there
When you think the world will end.
I'm the one you cry to
When your heart is somehow broken,
And I'm the one who loves you
Even though my words aren't spoken.

Desperate For Love

Desperate for love you
look in the wrong places,
look in the wrong faces,
compete in the wrong races
(knowing that you'll lose.)

Desperate for love you're
blind to the one who's always there,
blind to the one who's always cared,
blind to the one who's pain you've shared
(who else has understood?)

Desperate for love you
surround yourself with lies,
hold on to broken ties,
hide the tears you cry
(unaware that I'm crying, too.)

Abuse Me

Abuse me more I like it
Keep coming back for more
Looking for that open door
But feeling like a dirty whore
Who needs another fix
Keeps falling for your tricks
Let you get your kicks
But now I'm kicking back
There's something that you lack
Not hearing your verbal smack
Not taking a poor excuse
Your yelling, crying is no use
This isn't love, it's just abuse
And I no longer like it.

Awaken

This is the land of opportunity;
freedom is in submission!
But I will not submit,
I'll never quit...
I'll keep fighting day by day;
Scratching, biting, clawing...
Waiting for someone to notice,
For someone to care.
Open your eyes!
Brainwashed, wiped clean,
Content in the lies...
But are you really free?
Superficial, materialistic,
Even sado-masochistic!
Oblivious to the scheme,
Blind to a bigger picture,
Deaf to the real truth,
Fed opinions and belief!
Opportunity doesn't knock;
It's given, taken...
Like so much in life.
When will you awaken?

My Thoughts

My thoughts, unheard
Silenced by the doubt
Censored by the fear
Drowned out by the words (of others)
Would it matter?
One small voice
In a world of many
Trying to break through
Trying to be heard
Screaming in my mind
Only a whisper in yours
Am I really saying anything?

Flow

Words flow
Lies, truth
Wanted proof
Got illusion
Heartache
Pain
Do it all again
Fear, hope
Disappointment
Existence flows

Emotional Landslide

Emotion is a landslide,
It's coming down hard...
Even though I try to hide,
I'm letting down my guard...
I can't seem to fight this,
You're love is much to strong...
But there's something that I miss,
Something for which I long...
Can you give me what I need,
What I most desire?
Or will you cause my soul to bleed,
Extinguish my love's fire?

Walk in My Shoes

Take a walk in my shoes,
Do you see things the same way?
Sitting up there on your mighty hill
Looking down on all of us,
You think you know what's right,
But your actions speak louder than empty words.
Take a walk in my shoes
And tell me how you feel...
There's misery where you've closed your eyes,
And all that static you hear is the People's cry!
You think you know what's right,
But your actions speak louder than empty words.
Take a walk in my shoes
And open your mind...
Nothing here is what it seems,
Nothing here is what you want to believe it is.
Come down off your mighty hill
And take a walk in my shoes

Why Wage War?

Why wage war
When we cry for peace?
Dropping bombs
Is no real release
For the anger inside.
I'm begging, please,
Don't send our children off to die,
To fight in your war
And fuel the lie.
Violence isn't the only way,
The only solution.
The problem's not solved
With war time pollution.
Why wage war
When we cry for peace?
Dropping bombs
Gives no relief.

Coward

Color me a coward...
I fight my battles
From behind closed doors.
It's never my ass
That I put on the line
When ink meets paper.
Empty words are spoken,
The promises are false,
And mistakes are made.
In time you'll forget,
Or so I hope...
Because to go down a coward
Is no way to go.
Why tell the truth
When the lie's so pretty?
Color me a coward...
I'll never know true bravery,
Because the hill
Has no trenches

Smiling While Dying

Smiling on the outside
Dying on the inside
Compared, Contrasted
Never what you wanted me to be
You never saw the pain
Never saw the tears
As if it mattered anyway
I'm not a person
Just an object, a toy
No feelings or fears
But I do feel
I do have fears
You played on them
Or have you forgotten?
My mind you adored
A voice of an angel
Too bad I don't look like one
I wasn't what you wanted me to be
So I smile on the outside
And die on the inside
All because of you

Lies Don't Work

Put away the past,
Take it out again...
The pain was not enough,
This is not the end.
Add another tear,
Another broken promise...
Forget about the lies,
Why can't you be honest?
What was the point
Of all that you said...
Was it for love,
Or to get me in bed?
Either way you choose
You didn't succeed,
You didn't come close
To planting the seed...
My intuition is great,
My trust is near gone...
I know the truth,
So now it's so long!

Blood and Rain

Listen to the rain
that's falling like my tears,
watch it pouring down
trying to wash away the years...
Trying to wash away
all the pain I feel inside,
failing to make clean
all the filth that is my life...
Instead the water's rising
and soon there'll be a flood,
mixed with falling rain
will be a river of my blood..

Wish You Knew

I wish you knew how I felt
All the pain, All the doubt
Afraid to open up, reveal the truth
Trying to forget all I've been through
Wasting my time on all that's left behind
Wanting to forget, to forgive
Reluctant to really live
And all for what?
I wish you could see me for who i am
Look past the physical, See within
Maybe you would understnad
Maybe you'd be more than a friend
But it's only a wish
And a recurring dream
I wish you could know me
To see it all and believe
But maybe if you did, You'd still leave
I just wish you knew

In The Shadows

In the shadows I have roamed
ever searching for a home
Someplace where I belong
A place of comfort for which I long

In the shadows I have lingered
always finding something meager
never getting quite enough
never finding more than lust

In the shadows I have lurked
ever tired from the search
wanting, waiting for this to end
as my roaming begins again.

Travelling a Long Road

I’ve been traveling a long road
Paying my way with my heart
And I can see it clearly now
Guess I should have known from the start…

We were never meant to be
But I wanted someone to love
I thought that you could be the one
An angel sent from above
But you were more like Satan’s child
You dragged me right through Hell
And every single lie you told
I remember them all too well

I’ve been traveling a long road
Paying my way with my heart
And I can see it clearly now
Guess I should have known from the start…

It’s been awhile now
I’m still dreaming of your face
And everything you did to me
Guess you put me in my place
You wanted someone to use
I foolishly gave you my heart
And now I’m here recovering
Because you tore my world apart

I’ve been traveling a long road
Paying my way with my heart
And I can see it clearly now
Guess I should have known from the start…

We were never meant to be
I was wrong to think we were
So I’ll find myself another love
And give my damaged heart to her.

To My Father

Any man can be a father,
you helped give life to me,
but a speacial man is a dad
and that's something you'll never be.
Control is not the way to love,
slamming doors only brings me fear,
the distance grows between us
as passing days turn into years.
You criticize mistakes I make,
you make me feel so low,
you wonder why I'm never there,
why I always have to go...
I can't stand the things you do
or the things you always say,
I can't stand you in my life,
I wish you'd go away!
The way you are brings only pain,
misery and despair,
You're burning bridges at every turn
and all are beyond repair.